Just a hello

This is just a post to say thanks to everyone that has subscribed to my blog. I've been a bit busy and haven't been blogging daily. There will be times when I blog everyday for 2 weeks in a row and then maybe not one for days. It will happen so i'm giving some pre-emptive apologies. LOL! So I just made a beat and I like it. Nothing really new in my world. Just a bit crazy how all these earthquakes are happening. I fear it will only get worse. That's a whole other blog post though. I'm actually eating right now so my thoughts are on this food sitting in front of me. LOL! Just wanted to drop a line or two to say i'm still here and that I will get back on my blog rind. Love y'all.

Life Is Too Short

A grandmother figure to me died yesterday after a long battle with cancer. When things like that happen it puts everything into perspective again. Sometimes the everyday grind of life makes you forget how important enjoying every moment of life, even the bad ones is. We go through life just trying to be happy and to get by. In the moment of living it seems like life is a long process when, in fact, it's not that long at all. It's rare that a person gets to accomplish everything in life that they hoped for. People come in and out of our lives. Things don't always seem fair. I'm realizing now that life owes us nothing. Life is a gift. We owe everything to life. We have to be our best and give our best to people everyday or we will regret it in the end. Let the people you care about fully understand how much you care. Never waste an opportunity to shine your light around the world. Sometimes we forget about the people who care about us. I'm guilty of it. We owe those who care about us something. We owe them at least a word of gratitude if nothing else. We need to start living for people other than ourselves. I mean, we have to look out for ourselves but keep other peoples feelings close at heart. We only live once so why not make as many people smile as we can. I don't know about you but there is nothing I enjoy more than making someone smile. It makes me feel good. Even if it is just holding a door for someone or giving a random stranger a compliment. That should be what life is about. Let's all do our part to make others happy. One smile at a time we can change the world. Life is too short to live miserable and unhappy. I understand we can't always be full of joy but we don't have to share our unhappiness with everyone else. Let's start sharing joy and laughter more often. After all, life is too short to not to. Love y'all.

I'm A Happy Man

I'm a happy man. A certain someone revealed their true colors to me. It was what I suspected all along but without proof what can you say? I still got love for this person just not like I had. It's a sad thing because I care about them. It makes me happy though because it has made it easier for me to get over. Thank god. I mean, I wasn't even acting like myself it had me so messed up. That's just silly. I have a feeling that it will continue to happen with them. I don't mean to sound like i'm dissing this person i'm just telling what I feel in my heart. That person knows that i didn't want it to be this way. I said some really hateful things on the phone to them but I was angry. You should never speak from anger. Wait until you cool off. My point is though, I actually meant one or two of those things. I was getting no respect and getting ridiculed but it's all good because that showed me how they really felt. They were conspiring on me with someone else even. So much for loving me and being a friend first. Like i said though, I still care about them even though I was being treated so wrongfully. That's just me though. I don't hold grudges and I accept apologies unlike some childish people. Today has been a great day. I feel like myself again and my heart no longer hurts. I've moved on to greener pastures and more trustworthy people. I still consider this person a friend and would still do anything for them. I would still put my own problems on the back burner for them. I feel good about that too. I believe in Karma and if you continue to lie and treat people badly even though you may be doing great in life now, things will eventually come crashing down. That's just the way things work. It's crazy how I still can accept bending over backwards for people even knowing they wouldn't do the same for me. I just want what goes around to come around. Just remember that please. Remember the golden rule. But do not only do onto others as they would do to you, do onto others better than they do you. It's 2010...time to be better and time to do better. just trying to do my part to make the world a better place. I love y'all.

My Apologies

I'm sorry for being absent on sharing my feelings with you. I haven't felt very inspired as of late. Some of you may have noticed a few of my posts that I was confessing my affection for a certain lady. Well, i'm here to report that those feelings are gone. As much as i do care about that person, I felt like things weren't going the way they should. When I give someone my heart and complete honesty I expect the same. My feelings weren't being reciprocated. The #1 thing to me in a relationship is telling the truth NO MATTER WHAT. Even if you think it's gonna hurt the person you have to keep it real. In the short time we were together she lied to me at least twice that I know of. I really really loved this girl so of course i'm hurt. It hurts bad. I cared about her so much I compromised with my own beliefs thinking that maybe she wouldn't do it again. I always say that if you lie to me even once it's over. I actually let it slide with her at first because I thought the world of her. I really don't know what I was thinking. As I sit here and write now I am sad. This shit ain't right. I remember now why I was so content with being single. I hate this feeling of love controlling you. It will. It will make you feel weird. Sometimes really great and sometimes really bad. I'm destined to be a single man and to just have "relations" with women, not relationships. In a couple days I'll be completely over it but right now sucks, i'm not gonna lie. Once again i'm sorry for missing my posts the past few days. I'll try to get on the ball again. Love y'all

Food For Thought

We live in a crazy world. I mean it. CRAZY! People are crazy, things that happen are crazy, and times are crazy. I'm not saying i'm the only sane one, but boy sometimes it seems that way. Sometimes when someone tells me something I imagine them thinking I must be stupid. Is that it or are they just not around people that over-analyze things? Are they used to someone just accepting what they say? Not me you bastard! You tell me something it's like you just served me up a plate of thought. I'm gonna inspect the food, enjoy the food slowly, and then i'm gonna run some hot water and think. I know, you're thinking "and this guy says he might be the only sane one!" You might be right. I doubt it though. I don't really have a point. I'm just sayin'....quit dumbin' shit down. Things need a certain amount of complexity to them. I enjoy a good mystery. Only if it is truly able to be figured out though. I don't wanna be puttin' my mind to something and never get that feelin' of completion that comes from understanding it. Believe me. When you tell me something i'm not just looking at you to be courteous. I'm looking deep into your eyes and reading your intentions. I'm looking through your eyes, watching your mannerisms. I can tell a story teller (liar) from jump street. Just by looking into your eyes I can tell if you're being real with me. Sometimes when someone is looking at me and telling me something when i'm analyzing i'm actually saying in my head, "you are a crazy bastard to think i'm believing this right now." I'm also sometimes thinking if that person is doing the same thing I am. It doesn't really matter, but just remember next time you look at me and tell me something that i'm just not believing you for no reason. I'm not gullible or stupid and you can take that to the bank. Love y'all.

I'm A Lucky Man

Wow! Life is really starting to be very kind to me. Is this the Karma that people talk about? Are the things that i've always wanted starting to happen for me as a way of saying thank you? Well it's definitely something. I am so amazed by a girl I have recently met. You know when in your heart you feel something is so right? When even your gut says "this is it?" Well it's happening to me. I'm also not thinking about my family as much. Yes, that is a good thing because my family is a source of negative energy. Life is finally starting to balance out. Don't get me wrong. There is still lots wrong with the world I hope will change. I actually hope to do my part to contribute and i will. It's just that i've begun to realize that I can't dwell on things that are out of my control. I can still show concern but when they start to affect my mood i need to let them go. We are so snowed in right now. It's pretty crazy. I wanted a major snowstorm and we got it. Now i'm ready for spring. I've learned one thing about blogging. It can be difficult to write an entry everyday if you do it like I do. I don't pre-write or pre-think any of it. I just sit down and pour out what i'm feeling at THAT moment. At the moment i'm watching the Cleveland cavaliers game so I just wanna type play by play commentary but i'll spare you the boredom. Ha! Besides, nobody wants to hear about a basketball game. Well, except Cavs fans and basketball fans. This isn't called Chad's sports blog though. Otherwise I would have written an entry on how the Saints are superbowl champs and how the city of New Orleans really needed that. I am really happy the Saints pulled that out. Hurricane Katrina caused major havoc there and the recovery has still not fully happened. Ok, so enough sports. I have a certain someone on my mind because it is 20 minutes until she meets with the surgeon. I hope they give her answers and get her healthy. She deserves that. I hope everything turns out ok. I love her and I need to know everything is ok. It's Tuesday and the trash goes out in the morning so I really need to get out there and drag the can through the snow and get it to the curb. Brrrrrrrrr. LOL! I hope everyone had and is having a great day filled with many blessings. Please remember to be good to people. We all deserve that. Once again, I love y'all.

Random As It Gets

I titled this entry that because that is exactly what this is gonna be. I have no subject in mind bothering me at the moment or inspiring at the moment. Nothing really bad nothing really good. Ha! I'm gonna probably switch subjects, change topics, and mix points so this might not make much sense. This is the reason I didn't write yesterday's post yesterday. I wrote it early today. Just kinda every thought in the world racing around my brain. I just ate so i'm feeling a little better. I drank a little but now i wanna eat up the whole house. Wow, back from over an hour break. Sorry, I took a intermission from writing this. Got sidetracked. I don't remember where i was and don't wanna go back and read to see what to start writing about again. I know right??!! What a lazy bastard! Ha! Guess all I wanna say is i love y'all. PEACE

Apology Post

I'm sorry. I missed my post yesterday. No excuse for that. I bullshitted around. I was gonna write it when I got home but I was drunk when I did. This is just an apology and a make-up for not writing yesterday. I really appreciate those who have subscribed. It inspires me that you are interested in how I feel and how i think. Thank you all. We are supposed to get another inch of snow tonight and then another 6-10 tomorrow. I thought we were done with snow for at least a week or so! I'm pretty tired right now but for some reason i'm feeling like heading out again tonight. Have no idea why either. I'm also getting pretty tired of Ohio. I get bored with things too easily. That's a trait of being a Gemini but it's also got something to do with my childhood. I moved around so much and never really settled in anywhere so it's kinda what i'm used to. It seems i'm that way with everything not just my living arrangements. I often get so inspired to start something and will get so close to finishing and then just stop. A sudden loss of interest plagues me often. I have to find a way to change that. It's a must. Like i said, I didn't want to write a very long post, just one to make up for what I didn't write yesterday. I will also write my official "todays" post later. I promise. Love y'all.

Randomness

I figured for todays entry I would just tell you what i've done so far today. I'm gonna stay away from dropping knowledge or philosophical writing for this post. Don't worry...i'll get back to it tomorrow. I've had a decent day. I didn't get much sleep last night because I was up talking to my special someone which makes it all ok. I woke up today feeling pretty good about things and life itself. I was pretty down on myself last night about family and such. Talking with my girl she helped me realize better things lie ahead. I'm so thankful for her. I shoveled a ton of snow today and my body is a bit sore. My shoulder also hurts. Ouch! I'll be fine though. The rest of my day will be spent on R&R. My dad wanted to know if i would come and dig him out also. I obliged of course because i'm a good guy but I don't like his girlfriend. She is a bitch and a liar and no good for him. I'm not too happy with my pops right now either. When I walked in his door for some reason i was overcome with negative feelings so I said "I don't even know why i'm doing this for you because you're an asshole." He looked puzzled and chuckled it off. I didn't find it that funny. I was serious. I looked at his lazy bitch of a girlfriend right in her eyes and told her "and I don't even like you." I exited out the door to go shovel. Well, my little cousin was over there and came outside after me and told me that she heard Tammy (dad's girlfriend) tell my dad that I said that to him. I told HIM he was an asshole. I looked HER right in her eyes and told her I didn't even like her. She knew I was talking to her. That pisses me off. After I shoveled I didn't even go back in the house, I just left. So I got home a bit ago and started some dinner because i'm starved. I didn't eat breakfast for some stupid reason. I only tossed back a glass of orange juice before leaving which kind of put my stomach on tilt. We got hit pretty hard with snow and we will be getting more in a couple days. Oh boy. I can't lie, i like it though. The smell of dinner is now circulating the house and i can't wait to eat. So that brings me to now. Here I sit typing my post for today about random things. As always, I hope you enjoy and remember, I love y'all.

Poetical Blogging "Words"

These are not just words typed out be be seen

these are words meant to inspire or emphasize dreams

without words we'd be lost with no hopes of communication

just looks or hand gestures to simplify creation

we're blessed with these phrases to get across what we say

to express how we feel or describe our days

what a gift we've been given to read and write

to sit down with a book and turn on the light

let your eyes scan the scribe that tells a story of mine

read between the lines as it takes you through time

let your mind be at ease and your body relax

If you're longing for hope then let this be your relapse

you all are my friends if you're reading along

you're the beauty being sang in a wonderful song

you're the sparkle in the eye of a carefree child

and the sun that shines on the miracle mile

be the song of the bird who chirps when it's freed

be the change that you hope for

the change that we need

words can warm souls and can amplify life

be used to create bonds and say I do to a wife

words can reverse actions seemingly set in stone

if you feel like your lost words can show you the way home

as you read these words just remember one thing

remember the the happiness AND pain they can bring

use your words wisely for good and for joy

words are very powerful

words aren't no toy

Once again here's my love and my heart poured out

I hope you like my blog

It's what i'm all about ~ LOVE y'all

No Yes Men

Doesn't it suck to have people around you who only tell you what you want to hear?I don't know about y'all but I would rather be told the truth. To quote myself...."always welcome pain if it means you are being told the truth." I thought up that quote one day when I realized that the truth does hurt sometimes but it's better that way. You'll never really know how you are seen by other people if you surround yourself with "yes men". In a world full of liars and fakes I find the truth refreshing. It's like jumping into a pool of ice water on a one hundred degree day. It's important to me to be told the truth. As a matter of fact, it is THE MOST important thing to me. I'm tired of "yes men". Give it to me raw and unfiltered. That's how someone who really cares about you does it. I don't wanna hear i'm doing everything right unless I am. It's important that you see yourself in a good light but that isn't always the way things are. You need another perspective and not just somebody shaking their head and telling you yeah. My point is...surround yourself with people who really care about you. When someone tells you something true and it hurts you it means they like you and they care about your well-being. They want you to do better and to be a better person. Believe it or not your critics care. You just have to be able to distinguish between a hater and a critic. So once again, I love y'all and please remember....NO YES MEN.

Life Moves Fast

Ok....sorry for the late entry. You know what they say though. Better late than never. So I just wanna express my feelings on life and how it flies by faster the older you get. When I was a young teenager I wanted so bad to be older and it took forever to happen it seemed like. But when I hit 18, good lord, I wish I could slow it down. Time truly does fly! I have to tell myself to really enjoy things as they happen. You know, take it all in. We only live once so we might as well do it big and enjoy what we have been blessed with. Regardless of your circumstances we must learn that millions have it worse than you. Enjoy what you have and make good memories because in the end that's all were left with. I'll be 30 in June and it seems like just last week I was anxious to turn 21 to go have my first drink. We get in such a rush to live sometimes we forget to enjoy what's happening all around us. Life does that to you. But life is a gift that keeps on giving so enjoy what it throws your way. Pay attention to the little things that happen to you. Enjoy the good people in your life because before you know it you and they will be gone. Do the things you enjoy but also make things more enjoyable for others. Make connections. Never stop dreaming. Be yourself. Take a look around once in awhile and realize that we are all blessed. Take a deep breath...feel that?? It's your heart beating and it could stop any second!!! Enjoy it now! Stop complaining. You are blessed just to be alive! Time is ticking! Love y'all.

Just Me

Nothing I really feel like expressing myself about today. Been a pretty bland day. Just me and my thoughts. That's not a bad thing though. That's when i'm at my best. I need to quit worrying. There is nothing to worry about. I'm good. I'm alive and that's as good as it gets. I'm keeping it short and sweet today. I guess it's a good thing when I have nothing to vent about even though i feel most alive when i'm expressing myself. Welcome to my mind. Buckle up. OH.....I guess i'd like to say not to put your eggs in one basket. That's a great piece of advice to live by. Keep following your hearts as I will mine. Love y'all.

Full Of Surprises

Life is a GREAT thing. It is so many things wrapped into one. The GREATEST thing to me about life is that just when you think you have it figured out it throws you a surprise. Not just in one area either. It happens in every aspect of life. I'm almost 30 yrs old. When I was a kid I thought I would be settled down with a family by now. Well, it hasn't exactly turned out that way. I've been in many relationships and have just never found that special someone. Until recently I was beginning to think I never would. I was perfectly content with being single and living my life how I wanted to live it. This is where the surprise comes in. Imagine coming across someone who you have the most amazing conversations with. Someone who you find out you think a lot like. Someone who is so amazing it makes you rethink what you want out of life. Someone who peaks your interest and actually makes you wanna be more than you ever dreamed of. It's a great thing. I'm so inspired! I have only known this person for a short while but we share the truth with each other. I really didn't wanna be in a relationship again. Too afraid to be let down. This girl makes me wanna put my feelings out there and take a chance so I am. If everything goes how my heart tells me it will, I think we have something special. Just when I thought and was happy to be destined to be a "single man" for the rest of my life, i'm suddenly feeling different. We have spoken so much about being 100% truthful with each other and that is the best we can do. That's a great foundation to build on. Things happen for a reason and I have been given a great reason to believe in love again. I come from a very broken family and in today's society that is the norm. Love truly is a rare thing. It's special. It makes you feel really good inside. This isn't as much about love as it is just appreciating a person for their kindness and for being so genuine. Wanting to share with someone things that you talk to no one about. Trusting someone. That's a very hard thing to do. I'm a firm believer that if you stay honest, faithful, and give your trust to someone, you can make it through life with not only the greatest friend one could have, but also a lover. ALWAYS, no matter what, be REAL. This post is dedicated to those of you who stay faithful and shine your light on the world. Never give up hope because just when you do........life will throw you a beautiful surprise.